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Using Constraints to go Deeper

Using Constraints to go Deeper

A fun practice I stole on Targeted Gratitude

Douglas Finkelstein
December 05, 2024

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Today’s Setlist

🎩 One Theme → Using Constraints to go Deeper

😄 Funny Business → Halloween is close enough

📊 Community Poll → We eat our cupcakes gracefully

🌒 Tonight’s Breathwork → YOGA: Spinal Yin BREATHWORK: Mothership (join here) Earth’s moon is currently waxing crescent, a time for that final energy exertion of the year..

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Using Constraints to go Deeper

In the deluge of Black Friday emails, I came across a newsletter by A.J. Jacobs that really resonated with me. He wrote about the power of highly targeted gratitude—getting super specific about what and who you’re grateful for, rather than tossing out vague or surface-level gratitudities.

Using creative constraints (aka boundaries) help to guide focus. Instead of getting stuck at “I’m grateful for family, friends, and sunshine,” constraints counterintuitively allow me to go deeper. Boundaries like these don’t stifle creativity—they channel it, encouraging specificity and helping us uncover more meaningful insights.

I wanted to try this exercise myself.

So, I did! And here they are!!

Someone I haven’t spoken to in a while whose past kindness I’m still grateful for:

• Doug: Joe Thompson, by summer camp counselor. He’s just a great dude and role model.

A seemingly mundane moment that brought me unexpected joy that I’m grateful for:

• Doug: Making the bed. When I fluff the top sheet, an air bubble gets trapped underneath that I love watching slowly disappear. I’m not sure if it’s only my delicious bamboo sheets from Cozy Earth that do it, but I love it.

A skill or habit I’ve developed that I’m proud of and grateful for:

• Doug: A 5 minute walk in the AM. I’ve been walking to the nearby park to put my feet in the grass for a few minutes most days. It feels really nice.

One small object in my home that makes my life easier that I’m grateful for:

• Doug: Apple slicer. I might never eat apples again if I had to cut them up on my own every time. Could you imagine…

Advice I got this year that I’m grateful for:

• Doug: To use my voice. I’ve been learning about my Human Design as a Manifestor, and how I’m meant to use my voice. I’ve always felt I had a powerful voice, and it’s been fun to experiment with the permission/validation I received learning about my design.

An aspect of my local environment (like a park, shop, or neighbor) that I’m grateful for:

• Doug: Little French Bakery. The most incredible croissants…

A teacher, mentor, or coach who shaped me and whose lesson I’m still grateful for:

• Doug: Mrs. G! My high school spanish teacher. I don’t remember much specifically, but she was a great role model of “being cool” yet authoritative, and I have always felt fondly about her.

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