Welcome to Doug’s Newsletter. Every Thursday, I share a theme from my journey to provide you insight along your spiritual path.

First, a word from our sponsor…

🎩 One Theme: Ace The Feedback

This Monday marked the one-month mark since the first test run of my Full Moon Celebration, an at-home, paid offering I conduct for small groups.

I sent out a detailed feedback questionnaire to the attendees — one of many touch points along the journey — to reflect at this one-month milestone.

As is the case for so many of us, receiving feedback on something I put a lot of effort into makes me squirm a little bit.

But I have to admit, a big part of me loves it. And to highlight why, I’ll share a brief story about a New York Times Bestselling Author.

In November of 2023, I was listening to Adam Grant talk about diving. The acclaimed author was on my go-to happiness podcast, Ten Percent Happier.

Grant talked about the score he got after a dive in practice from one of his coaches. For years, he viewed his score as a criticism of him and his ability. 7 out of 10? That meant he was a 7 out of 10 diver.

But one day, he realized something: the score he was given wasn’t given to criticize him. It was given to help him.

His coaches weren’t critics, they were coaches. And they were scoring him to help him bridge the gap between where he is and where he wants to be.

Suddenly, every piece of feedback went from discouraging to empowering.

What’s done is done. The results are in, and you have no control over them.

You DO have control over how you respond.

It’s natural to try to change the scorer’s mind. “How was that only a 7?! I deserve at least a 7.5.”

Or in the case of my celebration and its attendees: “How did you rate our yoga at the celebration a 7?!…”

But that approach doesn’t really help me. Those results are in.

The next celebration, though? Those results aren’t in.

And there’s great news—I have a roadmap to that 7.5, 8, 9, and 10!

Learning how I got a 7, and the steps I can take to move toward a 10, is the quickest way to close the distance between my current self and my best self.

This is why I read every single piece of feedback I get, and respond to every piece that warrants follow up.

In this spirit, I am humbly asking for your feedback on Doug’s Newsletter. Starting with this email today, you can expect a monthly email with a similar request, in which I’ll also highlight what I learned & improved from the previous month’s responses.

I don’t expect you to answer every month, and I am grateful for every occasion where you can give me a few minutes from your day (I always aim for <5 minutes) to help me get better. Thank you.

💭 Your invitation to contemplate: What feedback are you getting?

Feedback comes from everywhere. Here are a few common places, with real examples from my own life:

Your Partner

Feedback: “I’d like you to check in with me when you’re out for the whole day, so I know when you’re getting back and can adjust my plans.”

Responding To The Score: “I always forget so why don’t you just call me, and I can tell you?”

Acing The Feedback: “I'll make a conscious effort to keep you informed next time I'm out.”

Your Boss

Feedback: “I don’t feel you’re clear enough on the why for your projects, and it’s making you work harder than you need to work.”

Responding To The Score: “I’ll just keep going, even though it’s a grind, and hope it figures itself out.”

Acing The Feedback: “I’ll devote time to reconsidering the goals for my ongoing projects.”

Your Body

Feedback: “I’m feeling fidgety because you’ve been sitting for a long time and I’d like to move.”

Responding To The Score: “I’ll tough it out, I’m almost done with what I’m working on.”

Acing The Feedback: “I'll gladly stand up and move around until you're satisfied, then I'd appreciate your help in focusing on my work.”

When you don't take feedback personally, there's only upside.

I've found that remembering your WHY is the best way to not take it personally.

Are you listening to feedback for the emotional boost that you did a good job? Or are you listening to feedback to improve for the next time?

Have a mindset to ace the feedback and soon enough, don’t be surprised if you’re acing the test, too.

If you’re like me, you made a mental note to honor my feedback request after you finished reading, and have completely forgotten about it by now! If that’s you, here is another opportunity to share your feedback.

😄 Funny Business

📊 Community Poll

Results for last week’s question: Where do you start when you're flossing your teeth?

I wonder if lefties start in one corner, and righties in the other?

Impressed I’ve themed this whole post to reviews, so going to finish strong! On to this week’s question…

"If anyone can prove and show to me that I am wrong in thought or deed, I will gladly change. For I seek the truth, by which no one was ever truly harmed. It is the person who continues in their self-deception and ignorance who is harmed." - Marcus Aurelius